Come with me to Tokyo
Shed your worries for a moment, why don’t you?
Minasan, konnichiwa. I am writing to you from a tiny rental unit in Tokyo, watching Kate work on her “computer” (an elderly iPad propped against a tote bag filled with bags of popcorn). Kate is in Tokyo writing a story for the exciting new magazine Now Voyager. I am in Tokyo because plane tickets were affordable, I had no ironclad obligations at home, and when life gives you an excuse to travel distantly with a dear friend, you have not only the right but the duty to exercise it!
Step away from your worries for a moment and travel with me, why don’t you?
First, let’s slip into something comfortable: a pair of individual enclosures for our big toes. With proper attire, these digits will remain warm through the chillier hours of a spring day in Tokyo.
Next, we’ll purchase a box of Fat Spread to lubricate our morning toast and power us through the day’s adventures.
In Meguro City we’ll duck into a phone booth to make an important business call. Next, we’ll stop at a konbini (convenience store) for refreshments—only to gasp at our luck in spotting a rare double rainbow of plastic cutlery!
While we’re at the konbini we may as well stock up on butter, snacks, a perfectly-designed pencil, and a magnifying glass. These may come in handy.
Of course we’ll leaf through men’s FUDGE magazine to discover the latest trends.
Ah, one final thing. Can’t leave without tossing an edible sweet potato paw into our cart
…or a vial of refreshing nose spray, in case a romantic interest comes along to sniff our nostrils
…or a bag of these, for obvious reasons. Ok, time to check out. Good thing we visited an ATM earlier today. Amazingly, we’re able to pay for our entire cart using coins. Unlike their poor devalued kin in the USA, coins in Japan still hold value.
Onward. We pass, and admire, a row of retrofuturistic apartment buzzers
..as well as solo glove resting enigmatically on an embankment.
At the sight of this sign we sheepishly dispose of our Krylon cans and move along.
Our ride is here. Let’s hop aboard and visit Shinjuku.
“One of everything, please.”
Next, let’s meet up with author and Tokyo resident W. David Marx at the Togoshi-Ginza shopping arcade.
Here we can ask David a question that has been hounding us all day: Why are there almost zero public trash cans in Tokyo?
David explains.
“Tokyo co-hosted the World Cup in 2002, shortly after 9/11. The city was concerned terrorists might plant bombs in public trash bins and removed a lot of the bins temporarily. Not surprisingly, they discovered that the cost of waste removal plummeted in the aftermath of the bin removal. Interestingly, the presence of litter didn’t increase. The taboo against littering was strong enough, as a social habit, that a lack of bins had little effect. So the city just continued not having them.”
“What do people do with their garbage?” we ask.
“Fold it up and keep it on their person until they can locate a trash can.”
“So everyone is smuggling garbage all day?”
“It’s possible,” says David.
We nod in recognition. Deep inside our purse festers an ice cream spoon, a receipt for coffee, a used Band-Aid, two Kleenex and a now-empty bag of Skinless Wieners.
Next we visit a beauty store to see the latest cosmetic advances, including Artclass Frottage Pencils and Blurry Pudding Pot in a stunning pink shade called “MULE”
David waves goodbye to us in the Ebisu neighborhood, where we try not to stare at this totally normally shape of building.
Suddenly, a sign appears.
We heed the sign and head to a grocery store, where we find a basket of eggs masquerading as garlic
…and a bucket of corn in captivity.
At a yōshoku restaurant we restore ourselves with hayashi rice served in a gravy boat.
Dessert is a scoop of chestnut ice cream covered in sweet potato floss. “Floss”, we think to ourselves. What an unexpectedly pleasurable form for a tuber to take!
Whew, it has been a long day. At the train station a looped steel-drum recording of the zither theme from The Third Man is playing over the loudspeaker. We wonder why—and we will never know.
Before heading home for good, we can’t resist taking one final lap through central Tokyo on the circular JR Yamanote train line. We set a timer to measure exactly how long it takes for the train to complete one full loop. (Answer: 1 hour, 3 minutes, 52 seconds.)
Back at the tiny rental unit we shroud ourselves in blankets to stay warm and turn off the ceiling lamp using a remote control. All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
Goodnight, we murmur. See you in the morning.