Kick me in the nuts

at a pre-arranged time

[WAILS ON THE ACCORDION IN SPANISH]

A year ago I was talking to someone in Mexico and realized mid-conversation that I had been using the wrong form of address.

“Oops I’m sorry,” I said. “Whenever I speak Spanish, I am accidentally rude.”

Or, that is what I tried to say. What I actually said was: “Oops I’m sorry. Whenever I speak Spanish, I accidentally …