On hair

One false move and mere anarchy is loosed upon the scalp.

I cut my own hair and it has never been a problem. Cutting long hair is like trimming green beans; you just sever the wizened ends and call it a day. No surprises. It is a rudimentary undertaking with predictable results and if you do it right—a low bar meaning “with scissors, not a butter knife” and “not while outrageously drunk”— nobody will notice th…