On owning a tool you are unable to control

And being wrongfully accused of Smelling Bad

Much like TikTok, the Greek Medusa wielded no destructive power on animals… she could only petrify humans!

Ever since the invention of TikTok I’ve wished I could commission an apotropaic amulet that would disable the app on a person's phone as soon as they tried to show me a video. My instinctive response to “I have to show you this TikTok” is to physica…